Accepting the limitations is one of the aspects of Colitis I struggle with the most, as well as the unpredictability and lack of stability. It is hard for me to be willing to be open and share about my health issues to new people. Once people find out I have a stress-induced illness, all the sudden [some] people suddenly feel the need to watch over me and they worry about whether I can handle whatever life stressors I have at the time. It's really discouraging when people worry about me or doubt me, and the more people worry, the more I put pressure on myself to prove to myself and everyone else that I can handle it and I'm not controlled by my disease.
But, the reality is, sometimes I am controlled by the disease.
I haven't accepted it yet. Colitis affects me on a daily basis. Some of it I've gotten so used to it, I don't even think about it anymore, but then when I randomly get sick and can't drive because I'm in so much pain, or I am forced to miss team meetings for my internship or reschedule appointments with clients... when my illness affects my commitments or other people, or prevent me from doing things I need to do, or want to do... that's what I have a hard time with.
I just feel really angry and resentful and discouraged.
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